RANDOM THOUGHTS (MORBID)

Blah

I woke up this morning feeling “blah”. I know I need to pray but ended up clicking on 50% of sale at Anthropologie. They always get me when I’m half awake and I end up buying something I don’t really need.

Rafa Nadal is about to play against Fernando Verdasco at Rome Masters. Should I swim first or just slouch in bed, prayer less and wait for the match to begin.

Choices, what to do.

So often, on a daily basis, there is just so much checklist of what to do and the choice is what do i do first. I don’t want to do anything but my head is spinning and there is goes, round and round and yes got to get up and get going.

But I don’t want to.

Do I go to Leslie’s place tonight for dinner and watch Eric Metaxes with her on Mike Huckabee’s TBN show? Or do i just pack for my trip tomorrow to Brussels.

I’m still here still contemplating if I should move. I feel so heavy. Maybe it’s because I ate too much last night or you didn’t sleep the full 8 hours. Or you partied to much last night with your friends and ate your heart out.

I’m still here.

Move.

The body, mind and spirit are 3 different entities I live with on a daily basis. It’s like 3 people in one. My body says this, my mind says that, my spirit says another. Sometimes I wish they seamlessly agree and it would be much easier.

I’m still here.

God please help.

Chapter 2 ( I don't know where chapter 1 is or don't even remember what I wrote)

One day I will die. How do I prepare for it?

I thought about video or audio taping myself to give my own message on my memorial service. What a morbid thought. Why are you talking about death?

Because we just had a memorial service for Fayette. She was only 63. She battled cancer and she’s gone. Nick and Anni came over last night for dinner and he’s going through chemo therapy. My sister just died of pancreatic cancer a couple of months ago. My friend Mike just had shoulder surgery a week ago. He’s still recovering. My friend Jan from Holland sent me a message that his wife Mies is diagnosed with breast cancer. These are just a few of dear friends and family. And with everything else happening around the globe, Iran -US standoff, North Korea, trade war with China, the liberal left expanding more endless investigations - where do you go?